Job from Hell, Reversed

Homer in Hell. Fair Use. The Simpsons is Copyright Fox.

Why This Post?

Sometimes our choices don't always turn out the way we predict. Even things we enjoy on the surface might not yield the same satisfaction when taken to more extremes. I've discovered this to be the case with my career choice of Chemical Engineering. I like the school work initially, but as things progressed deeper I enjoyed the coursework less. Work pays well, but I find that a paycheck alone isn't enough. I'm not like Homer Simpson in Treehouse of Horror IV. He was sent to hell and force-fed thousands of donuts as a punishment, but he still enjoyed it. 

This post is an exercise to help me identify a career for which I can be passionate. This is yet another exercise from, "I Could Do Anything: If Only I Knew What It Was," by Barbara Sher. The exercise is to write down the job from heaven, or if you have a hard time with that, the job from hell. I have a very difficult time thinking about the job from heaven and still have the job be a job. I find it much easier to do the job from hell. Does that mean I'm pessimistic?

The Job From Hell

At the job from hell I have to wake up and be to work early every morning. It's in the middle of downtown and I have to fight an hour of heavy traffic every morning just to get there. There is a mandatory morning meeting with the sole purpose of making everyone feel that they are doing a horrible job, but the actual business is ignored. Every day feels exactly the same as the one before because I do the same thing every day, day after day. My managers ask me to do loads of extra work that have no impact on the business' bottom line. I'm never allowed to be creative, or inventive or think outside the box. I have to write reports all day that no one ever reads or uses. All the technology I use is antiquated, the software doesn't work, and support from other departments is non-existent.

There are several meetings a day, but most of the time is spent arguing. People don't listen to each other and never work out solutions that will help everyone accomplish their work. As a result there's always too much to get done. Because daily work is so inefficient, my boss stays late every night and expects everyone else to do the same thing. Even when you leave you're always on-call. Vacation, sick days and anything outside of work is treated with contempt.

Because the company is trying so hard to save money, I don't even have a dedicated computer. Instead they are rotating pods, so you can never setup your workspace individually or efficiently. Everyone in the entire company sits in the same huge room, and everyone can see everyone. It's terribly distracting.

I'm sure I could add in more details, but I've written enough that I have a fairly good understanding of what really bugs me in a job. I hate when people waste time and energy on each other instead of on the problem at hand. I also hate limitations, especially the ones that are arbitrary. I hate monotony.

Double-Negative

This would be the Job Not from Hell:

I get to live wherever I want, because I get to fly a helicopter or airplane to work. And sometimes I can work from home, or just check-in while traveling with the family. The software systems at work are brilliant. All of the metrics necessary to track success as an individual, group and company are effortlessly generated and communicated by computers, so there's no need for mandatory morning meetings. When metrics predict any course deviations then people just get together to make early corrections. They do this because they are intrinsically motivated. They like making things run smoothly and minimizing problems.

There's basically no need for bosses. Conflict isn't eliminated, but my co-workers are able to resolve conflict without it becoming personal. They address problems objectively, then execute when a compromise has been reached.

I get to do a variety of things. And when I get bored of one thing or feel I have mastered my work, I get to learn something else. My work is technically challenging, but I'm surrounded by talented and experienced people and we help each-other improve our abilities. My work provides products or services that make people happy in a way that I get to see and sometimes experience with them. The company has a vision that is intrinsically understood by it's employees. Because we work on the same level with our customers we don't have to worry much about money, it naturally comes a result of our desire to create value.

Because we are innovative, creative, and do things before anyone else, I can afford to take time off, be sick, go to my kids' activities, and go home at a decent hour. But work is so engaging, that sometimes I like to stay a few extra hours when I'm making a breakthrough on something new.

It's funny, while I was coming up with this flipped version of a job, I thought to myself, "I want to be Kevin Flynn at the end of Tron (1982)."